


Another World

by silvertrails



Series: Unrelated Stories [3]
Category: The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-03
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:40:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 14
Words: 12,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26269621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silvertrails/pseuds/silvertrails
Summary: What happens if Fingon is captured when he tries to rescue Maedhros.
Relationships: Fingon/Maedhros
Series: Unrelated Stories [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1798768
Comments: 32
Kudos: 48





	1. Chapter 1

**Another World  
By CC  
September 2020**

This is an amateur effort and does not intend to infringe on the rights of J.R.R. Tolkien. I make no profit and mean no harm. 

This is my entry for the SWG August/September Challenge: Utopia/Dystopia. I chose Dystopia.

This is the quote I chose:

_"That’s all anybody can do right now. Live. Hold out. Survive. I don’t know whether good times are coming back again. But I know that won’t matter if we don’t survive these times."  
-Octavia Butler, The Parable of the Sower._

* * *

**Part One: Lost together**

He had been captured when he tried to rescue Maitimo. His prayers to the Valar had not been heard, and now Findekáno languished in a cell, knowing that his cousin was still hanging on the cliff, unable to die due to Morgoth’s power. Findekáno had been raped and tortured, and finally forgotten in his cell. 

Sometimes Gorthaur came to see him and mock him for his hope in the Valar’s help. The Maia would show him what was happening in the Elven realms in Endorë. Makalaurë had given the crown to Nolofinwë and moved East along with his brothers. They had stablished a siege that had been broken, and each realm had been taken one after the other, until all that remained was Gil-galad in Lindon and Círdan in the Havens.

Then, one day when Findekáno had been praying once again for release Maitimo had come, but he was not the cousin that Findekáno had loved. His body was hard and scarred, but his beautiful face was still the same. Maitimo had come into the cell and pulled Findekáno up until they were face to face.

_“Maitimo…”_

_“I know you.”_

_“I am Findekáno, your cousin… your lover.”_

Maitimo had kissed Findekáno hard and then picked him up and taken him out of the cell. Nobody had stopped them, and to his horror Findekáno had realized that Maitimo was one of Morgoth’s captains now. Respected and feared but subjected to the Dark One’s will. 

Findekáno had shivered but accepted his fate. He loved Maitimo, no matter who he was now. He would try to bring him back to the light, to peel off the layers on darkness until his lover was whole again. He would do that, one way or the other, but for now he was in another cell where Maitimo had locked him up. He was given fresh clothes and food to eat. He had bathed for the first time in centuries. 

Then Maitimo had come and made love to him, carefully, almost gently, and for a moment Findekáno’s mind had seen the light buried in the depth of his lover’s mind.

So, now he was alone in Maitimo’s cell, waiting for his lover’s return and wondering if this time Morgoth would be defeated and they would be free at last.


	2. Chapter 2

“Maitimo.” The name sounded like a caress in his lord’s voice, but Maitimo knew better than to expect anything but pain when Lord Melkor called him to his chambers. He was standing naked in front of the Vala, his hands bound on his back, his hair loose and so long that it reached his calves. Maitimo had cut it once, and for that alone Findekáno, the poor Elf who had tried to rescue him, had been punished cruelly.

An image of Findekáno came to Maitimo’s mind, but he quickly pushed it away. He didn’t know who the Elf was, but his need to protect him was strong. Why had Findekáno come alone to rescue him? 

“Ah, you are thinking of my gift?” Lord Melkor said. “Do you like him? Have you taken him?”

Maitimo looked down, trying to close his mind in a futile attempt to prevent his master to know how he felt.

He heard Lord Melkor laugh.

“Come here, Maitimo. You cannot hide anything from me. You like him, and you feel guilty because of what has become of him. It is all your fault, and you know that.”

Yes, Maitimo knew. 

He approached his master’s bed.

“On your knees, slave.”

Maitimo dropped to his knees, bile rising in his throat at the thought of what would come next. He had learned the hard way to pleasure his master without showing his disgust, and that he did now. 

“You cannot get attached to him,” Melkor said when it was over. “I will kill him if you fail me. Or if I feel like doing it. He knew the danger when he came for you. This is all your fault.”

“Yes, Master.”

Melkor cupped Maitimo’s chin with a hand and made him look up. “He is nothing, do you understand? He is a fool who came here believing that my brother would hear his prayers. He is simply another way to assure your loyalty.”

Maitimo trembled, but he could not take his eyes off Lord Melkor.

“And you are mine.”

“Yes, Master.”

Lord Melkor freed his wrists and pulled him up. Despite his disgust, Maitimo could feel his body reacting to his master’s closeness and touch. Soon he was in Melkor’s bed, trembling with need and hating himself for it. He could not resist the darkness that was slowly enveloping him. He was Morgoth’s creature now, and his brothers were dead. Everything had been in vain, and Manwë had abandoned them. 

“You are beautiful, slave. That is why I made sure to keep your face unmarked and allowed you to keep your name. What a mockery to have Finwë’s grandson in my bed. I killed him, you know that, and yet you crave my touch. What would your father say?”

Maitimo knew that he was worthless, and that he should be dead. He had tried to kill himself once before Melkor hanged him from the cliff, but now he could not even think of it. Melkor had ordered him to stay alive, and so he did.

“Clean yourself and be ready to guide a pack though the lands of Hithlum. Do you remember those lands, slave?”

“There were Elves in those lands, but now they are loyal Men living there, Master.”

“Yes, loyal Men, but that is because they are afraid of me. Make sure that nobody has escaped the lands and kill any Elf you find. You could kill a few Men too.”

“Yes, Master.”

“Leave me now, slave.”

Maitimo left Lord Melkor’s chambers and headed to his own. His body was bruised, and he could feel his right shoulder bleeding from a cut. It could have been worse, he mused as he reached his cell. Findekáno was asleep when he came in, but woke up and sat on the bed, alarmed.

“Maitimo? What has happened to you?”

“No questions.”

“But---”

Maitimo pushed Findekáno away and resisted the urge to pull him up when he fell on the stone floor. Maitimo could not allow Findekáno to touch him after Lord Melkor’s touch had tainted him once again.

“No questions,” he said again, softer this time.

Findekáno said nothing and stayed out of his way while Maitimo cleaned himself and put on his armor. He was still looking at him when Maitimo grabbed a cord to tie his long hair.

“Help me with this, Findekáno.”

The other Elf nodded and waited for Maitimo to sit down so he could fix his hair in a way that did not get in his way while fighting. Maitimo had asked this from Findekáno only because he looked so lost after his outburst. He had to keep Findekáno at arm’s length, so he remembered that he was a prisoner in his cell. Yet the touch of those gentle hands made him want to escape Thangorodrim with Findekáno and take him to a place where nobody hurt him again.

Unfortunately, that place did not exist…

“Be safe,” Findekáno whispered when Maitimo was ready to leave.

Maitimo nodded briskly and left the cell.

Soon he was heading to Hithlum, leading a pack of Orcs to do his master’s bidding. He could feel despair rise in his heart, but he pushed the feeling away. If he failed, Findekáno would suffer for it. Maitimo did not trust the Valar, but he hoped that they kept him from further harm. 

His only hope was to find Findekáno alive when he returned.


	3. Chapter 3

“The end is close.”

Maglor looked at his brother and closed his eyes briefly as he felt the pain and loneliness coming from Amrod’s mind. He had never been as gifted as Caranthir who could read their minds, but after decades living with Amrod his mental powers had strengthened. Maybe they had been there always. After all, when Maglor used to make music he fell in trance and could see the musical notes as colors in his mind. He had little reason to make music now. The twins were safe with Gil-galad, and Amrod’s mental state was all that Maglor cared for. 

He had not been the same since Amras died, and now that they were alone his nightmares were becoming worse. Maglor feared for him. 

“There is no need to fear for me, Makalaurë,” Amrod said quietly. They spoke in Quenya when they were alone. There were ears everywhere, and though the only surviving sons of Fëanor were hated and feared in equal measure, Maglor found it comforting to speak in his mother tongue. 

Amrod sat beside him and rested his head on Maglor’s shoulder. They were camping near a creek, and their mounts were grazing and drinking fresh water. Maglor placed an arm around Amrod’s shoulders and kissed his head.

“And when the Valar come, if that is what you mean, what will we do, Pityo?”

“We will die.”

“Pityo…”

“We will fight, and we will die, and we will see our brothers again.”

“We could return home, and be judge for our crimes, and see Mother.”

Amrod laughed. “Do you still believe that they would treat us fairly? We will not have a trial like Father, or someone who would release us after our penance.”

“Mother would.”

Amrod grew silent for a moment. “She would, but I convinced Telvo to come with us, and now he is dead. We all sided with Father, and then even though Maitimo stood aside when we almost burned Telvo, he was taken. And so was Findekáno when he tried to rescue him. The Valar have no compassion.”

Maglor closed his eyes and remembered the day when Caranthir told him that he could no longer feel Maitimo. Until Findekáno tried to rescue him, Caranthir had been able to feel their brother’s torment, but then Maitimo’s consciousness had disappeared from his mind.

“At least Maitimo and Findekáno are free from this darkness.”

“So are the rest of our brothers, and our cousins. There is no one left but you and me.”

“And Artanis.”

Amrod sighed. “And Artanis. I wonder if Tyelpo is with her.”

“We can only hope. Ready to go one, brother?”

Amrod nodded and stood. Maglor waited a moment to try to order his thoughts. Their quest for the Silmarils had been in vain, and sometimes right after sunset they could see Vingilot carrying Eärendil with one of them on his brow. It was almost dawn now, the time when Eärendil showed up as a morning star. Maglor stood and searched for it.

_Do you regret it, Eärendil? Leaving your family in search of the Valar’s pardon? Do you understand Elwing’s madness when she chose the Silmaril over your sons? Is this part of the Doom? You have Turukáno’s blood after all, and he died when he refused to leave his city._

“Are you going to help me to lift camp, Káno?”

“Yes, I was just wondering if our Father’s jewels have so much value.”

“They do!”

“I’m not so sure anymore.”

Amrod said nothing, and Maglor knew why. If the Silmarils had no value then they had lost their lives in a futile quest, driven by their Father’s will and the Oath they made. 

If this thought helped Amrod to stay sane, Maglor was not going to take it from him. He would go on while his brother needed him. Maybe in time, and if Tyelpo was safe, Maglor would convince Amrod to go back and receive their punishment.


	4. Chapter 4

Something was going on. Findekáno could feel the tension in the air, and in Maitimo’s closed expression. Findekáno wished that his lover allowed him to take care of his wounds, but whenever Maitimo came back with bruises or cuts it was better to stay out of his way. Maitimo had never pushed him away like the first time, but his eyes burned so fiercely that Findekáno had learned to wait for him to cool down. 

Sometimes Maitimo would come and take him hard, his kisses demanding submission, his hands bruising Findekáno’s skin. He still had a mark in his left shoulder that would not heal, though Maitimo had brought him ointments afterwards. Nothing ever healed in Angband and Findekáno could feel himself slowly falling into despair. 

There were other times when Maitimo was so gentle and so like himself before the Doom that Findekáno could feel a small flame of hope in his heart. It never lasted long, though. The darkness in Angband was slowly taking away everything good they had.

“Dreaming of the Dark Lord’s pet again?”

Findekáno started and sat on Maitimo’s cot. It was not the first time that Gorthaur came to torment him when Maitimo was gone, but this was the first time that a Balrog came with him. 

“You do know that your Maitimo craves for my Lord’s touch, do you? That you are but a pale distraction to him, something that barely satisfies him when my Lord is away.”

Findekáno knew because Gorthaur had shown him images of Maitimo in Melkor’s arms. It had hurt him, but he also knew that Maitimo loved him, he could feel that every time his lover looked at him.

“You are no longer of use. Take him out of the cell.”

The Balrog entered the cell and encircled Findekáno’s neck with his whip, forcing him to stand and stumble when the pain became too much to bear. He would not scream, though. If he was going to die, it would be like his father’s son. Bravely. His only regret was that Maitimo was lost to him, that he had failed to save him.

Gorthaur and the Balrog took him to another cell, where half-crazed Elves were huddling together, some of them Orc-like, none of them friendly. Findekáno fell to the ground, breathing with difficulty, very aware of the burning mark around his neck. 

“Your turn will come, son of Nolofinwë,” Gorthaur said. “You will become a thrall, and then an Orc, and kill your kind without remorse.”

_No! I will not!_

Findekáno would die before allowing the darkness to take hold of him, but how? He had tried to die when they told him that Maitimo would die because of him. It had been impossible. He was locked in his body by Melkor’s will. 

One of the Orc-Elves came towards him, followed by a few of the others. The half-crazed Elves didn’t even look at him. They were murmuring prayers or crying softly. They wanted to die too. 

Findekáno tried to push the Orc-Elf away, but the others grabbed his arms and legs. The Orc-Elf laughed, showing his filed teeth. He leaned close and grabbed Findekáno’s hair, pulling until it hurt. Then, when Findekáno was about to bite his lips the pressure on his skull stopped and he saw the Orc-Elf with his hair in one hand and aa knife in the other. Findekáno stopped struggling for a moment until his clothes were torn apart. The others laughed, and then he was raped by the Orc-like Elf. 

It meant nothing to him now, only a reminder of his first weeks in Angband, but this time his mind went to another place and he did not stop it. 

He was in Tirion, lying on a bed with Maitimo after having made love for the first time. The light of Laurelin was waning, and it cast beautiful reflections in Maitimo’s long hair.

_I love you, Maitimo._

_And I love you, my Finno. I have always loved you._

_I am afraid that they will find us and separate us forever._

_They will not, I promise._

_Findekáno smiled and then he kissed Maitimo again._

When the Orc-Elf was done, Findekáno was still in his dream word. He never felt when he was dragged to a corner of the cell and tied up hands and feet by his tormentors. He was back with Maitimo, and they were free, and not even the ringing alarm in his mind was going to force him to come out of this dream.


	5. Chapter 5

Maitimo had been away for too long, unable to return to Angband and see Findekáno. Gorthaur had assured him that his lover was being cared for, but Maitimo didn’t trust his words. Gorthaur was Melkor’s creature, his loyal servant, and unlike many who served the Dark Lord, Gorthaur had come to him on his own will. 

He had the feeling that Findekáno was in danger but going out without his master’s leave would mean his death. Maitimo could not remember his life in that place that Findekáno called Tirion, or that they were cousins. He could not remember his mother or brothers either. All he could see when he closed his eyes was his father dying and his body burning to ashes. 

He believed Findekáno, though, because every time he looked into his eyes, something stirred inside him, something that was warm and alien, and the desire to protect Findekáno was so strong that he had to stop himself from trying to escape Angband with him. 

They would not go far, and Findekáno would be killed, and Melkor would force Maitimo to watch it. 

Now he was back, and he had given his master a report. Something was stirring on the West, and the light that Dior carried through the sky was more brilliant than ever. It hurt the Orcs, and the Balrogs hissed at it, but Maitimo only felt a strange longing.

It was the same longing he used to feel whenever he saw the jewels in Melkor’s crown. The longing he had learned to control and finally faded away as he accepted his fate. He had felt it again while he reported to his master. Now he was heading to his cell, anxious to see Findekáno, hating himself for this weakness, but determined to take him into his arms.

“He is not there.”

Maitimo ignored Gorthaur and continued his way but a Balrog stopped him. 

“What do you want, Gorthaur.”

“I am trying to be useful. Your pet is no longer in your cell.” He smiled. “He is no longer your pet, either way. He is a thrall now. His mind is gone.”

Maitimo saw red, and drew his sword to kill Gorthaur, but the Balrog’s whip stopped him and forced him to his knees. Gorthaur cupped his chin and looked into his eyes. There was power in them and Maitimo felt suddenly tired.

“You should be glad. He no longer suffers. He no longer knows who he was or what he lost when he decided to come and try to rescue you.”

_Findekáno…_

“I have something for you. Here.”

Maitimo looked in horror at the lock of brown hair, Findekáno’s hair. There was blood in it. His eyes burned with hate and pain, but he was falling asleep by Gorthaur’s power.

“Lock him in his cell.”

Maitimo felt the Balrog pull him along the corridor by his neck, burning him in the process, but he didn’t care. He had lost Findekáno. He had failed to protect him.

He fell into a state between slumber and unconsciousness, and while he was in it Maitimo dreamed of a young cousin who followed him around. He dreamed of a boy with grey eyes and brown hair, always asking questions, and even escaping his house to visit him. 

“Finno…”

The cousin had grown up and turned into a beautiful Elf, and Maitimo had fallen in love with him. 

How could he have forgotten Findekáno, his beloved cousin, his lover? Maitimo tried to wake up, to rush though Angband corridors and find Findekáno. Whatever they had done to him, Maitimo would nurse him back to health. And if it were no longer possible, he would care for him and protect him until their time to answer for their crimes came.

“My crimes…”

When Maitimo finally managed to climb out of the state Gorthaur had forced on him his cell was open and one of the thralls was standing at the door. 

One of the thralls… Finno…

“My lord, there is an army outside Angband. Our master requires that you go out with part of the army. I have been trying to wake you for hours.”

Maitimo sat up. “Hours? How long have I been asleep?”

“Four days, my lord.”

Findekáno!

Maitimo stood and grabbed his neck. “Where is Findekáno?”

“I…”

Maitimo pushed him to the rock wall and slowly started to choke him. “I will kill you if you do not answer my question!”

The thrall looked terrified. It was his conditioning, Maitimo knew, but he had to find Findekáno and take him away. He eased his grip a little.

“Take me to him now.”

“I can’t…”

Maitimo looked into the thrall’s eyes and a dark power came out of him. The thrall was his now. 

“Take me to him.”

“Yes, my lord.”

Maitimo followed the thrall through dark corridors, avoiding any encounter with Gorthaur or the Balrogs. He crossed paths with one of his aides, an Orc-Elf who he had selected before he lost his mind. 

“Carno, lead the army outside. I will be there soon.”

Carno left, and Maitimo resumed his way with the thrall in tow. Finally, they reached the thralls’ cells, and there was Findekáno, bound and gagged while an Orc-Elf untied his legs and spread them.

“Stop!”

There were many Orc-Elves there, a few almost Orcs now, and very few thralls. They stopped at once, though, and Maitimo made his way toward Findekáno and freed him.

“Finno…”

Findekáno smiled at him, but Maitimo could see that his cousin’s mind was not in the present but in a dream. It broke his heart, but right now Maitimo had to make his way out of the cell and take Findekáno to safety.

“He is mine.”

Maitimo turned around, eyes dark with anger and made the Orc-Elf fall back. He drew his sword and sliced his stomach. 

“Findekáno is mine!”

The urge to kill everyone, including the thrall at his service was almost too strong to resist now, but he heard Findekáno gasp when such thrall tried to grab him.

Maitimo cut the thrall’s head and picked Findekáno in his arms. He knew these corridors well, for he had been in a cell like this when he was captured. Findekáno was limp in his arms, and Maitimo could smell blood in him. He had to take his lover out and save him. Maybe he would find a way to take him back with his family.


	6. Chapter 6

It was over, Maglor mused as he looked at the Silmaril still burning his hand. He and Amrod had taken the jewels, and though Eonwë had allowed them to leave the encampment, only sorrow and pain had followed. Amrod had thrown himself into an open chasm where the flames had devoured his body. Maglor was standing alone before the sea, determined to cast the Silmaril into the waters before letting himself fall to his death. 

Part of the land had sunk under the fury of Lord Ossë. Lord Ulmo had not stopped him this time. It was the punishment they all deserved for slaying their kin three times. Maglor had tried to give up, to go back and receive his punishment, but the anguish in Amrod’s eyes had stopped him. If everything they had done had no meaning, then their actions had been mere crimes and nothing else.

Maglor was aware that he had killed with little remorse, and that he deserved a punishment, but his little brothers, one dead and the other committing suicide had hurt the most. He missed every one of them. Maitimo, lost and probably killed in Angband, Celegorm, Caranthir and Curufin, killed in Dior’s throne chamber. Amras killed in the Havens of Sirion. 

And now he had lost Amrod too. All that remained for him was to go to them in the Halls and fulfill his destiny. 

He moved closer to the edge of the cliff and threw the Silmaril as far as he could. The waters, still in turmoil, took the jewel and with this the last of his father’s jewels was lost to him. It was his turn now.

“Stop!”

Maglor whirled around and froze when he saw Maitimo carrying an unconscious Findekáno. 

“This cannot be true,” he whispered. “You are dead, you both are.”

“We are alive. Now move away from that cliff, Makalaurë.”

Only then did Maglor realize that Maitimo was speaking in Quenya, and that he had answered in Quenya too. His brother looked different, scars lining his arms and legs, his long hair tied back, his eyes burning with anger. Findekáno was pale and even his face was bruised, and his long hair was gone. Only a short cap remained of his cousins’ braids.

“Move!” Maitimo almost growled. “Help me with Findekáno.”

This shook Maglor out of his shocked state and he approached Maitimo and helped him to sit Findekáno on the ground. He was wounded, an arrow on his shoulder, too close to his heart. 

“Hold him!”

Maitimo was wounded too, his side bleeding, but before Maglor could say anything his brother broke the shaft and pushed the arrow through their cousin’s shoulder.

Findekáno whimpered softly but didn’t open his eyes. Maitimo bandaged his shoulder and gave him something to drink. 

“Maitimo---”

“Not now, Makalaurë. We need a place to rest until Finno feel better.”

“Let me take him.”

Anger burned in Maitimo’s eyes. “No!”

“You are bleeding. Do you want Findekáno to wake up and find you dead?”

Maitimo looked at his bleeding side and then nodded briskly. “Be careful.”

Makalaurë bit his lips and picked Findekáno up slowly. “There is a cave where Pityo and I… There is food there, and clean bandages.”

“Where is Pityafinwë?”

“He is dead.”

For the first moment since Maitimo came back Maglor saw a trace of pain in the depths of his eyes. His brother was not the same, not after being so long in Angband, but the brother he knew was still there.

Maitimo was silent while they reached the cave and settled Findekáno on Amrod’s cot. Once they had made sure than their cousin was comfortable, Maglor brought more bandages.

“Let me take care of your wound, Maitimo.”

Maitimo nodded and sat on Maglor’s coat without a word. The wound was deep, but not life-threatening. Maglor gave his brother the last of his wine while he cleaned and bandaged his side. 

“You should rest too, brother.”

“No.”

“Maitimo---”

“How did Pityafinwë die? Tell me what happened.”

“We took the Silmarils from the Vanyar encampment. Uncle Arafinwë was there, but it was Lord Eonwë who stopped the others from killing us.”

Maitimo ran a hand through his hair. “Your hand is burned.”

Maglor nodded. “The Silmarils burned our hands. We lost our claim to them. Amrod… Pityafinwë threw himself into a burning crack on the land. I tried to stop him…”

Maitimo stood up and looked into Maglor’s eyes. “And you were going to end it all too.”

“Yes.” Maglor felt suddenly very tired. “I threw the Silmaril to the waters. I was going to follow Pityafinwë, and you all.”

Maitimo embraced him, and Maglor rested in his brother’s arms for a moment. 

“I am sorry that we did not rescue you, brother. If I had known that Findekáno would go on his own…”

“You could not have rescued me, or Findekáno. I am sorry I left you all alone. I was one of his servants. I have killed more Elves than I can remember. I did not recognize Findekáno when Melkor gave him to me.”

Maglor looked into Maitimo’s eyes. “You lost your memories…”

“They were taken from me. I was Melkor’s servant, his slave and one of his captains. I only remembered who I was when Findekáno was taken from me.”

“Maitimo?”

“I am here, Finno. Sleep.”

“What happened to him?”

Maitimo was kneeling beside the cot. “He was tortured and raped. He lost his mind, Makalaurë. He might not recover.”

“But he knows you.”

“He does, but his mind is in the past. I failed him.”

Maitimo closed his eyes, obviously exhausted. Maglor would have him lie down on his cot, but he knew better. He gathered a few skins and old cloaks and made a makeshift bed for him. 

“Lie down here, brother, and rest.”

Maitimo looked at him, doubt clear in his eyes. 

“I will not leave. I promise.”

Maitimo searched Maglor’s face and finally sat down the furs. “I cannot sleep, but I will rest. We do not know if Finno will recognize you.”

Maglor nodded, hoping that his brother fell asleep. For now, he sat on his own cot and applied an ointment on his burned right hand. He would guard his brother and cousin. He would not leave them alone.


	7. Chapter 7

Findekáno was dreaming of the day when he and Maitimo spoke about their love for each other for the first time. Maitimo was older, and Findekáno had seen how Elf-maidens liked him and hoped to bond with him one day. Why would Maitimo look at Findekáno as other than his younger cousin? It was true that Maitimo had always been nice to him, and even rescued Findekáno when he climbed up that tall tree…

Nothing had prepared Findekáno for his cousin’s words of love, for the gentleness in his tone when he confessed that there was no one else for him but Findekáno. Maitimo had been afraid of his reaction, and the relief on his face was visible when Findekáno told him that he had only ever loved him. They had kissed, and---

“Findekáno.”

Findekáno looked around in his dream, wondering why Maitimo’s voice sounded so different as if coming from far away. He looked back at his cousin and in horror saw him disappeared from his arms. He cried out in despair.

“Hush, Finno. I am here. Open your eyes.”

Findekáno felt strong arms pulling him close, and though his shoulder hurt, he relaxed in his cousin’s arms. He was safe in Maitimo’s arms.

“Finno, please look at me.”

Findekáno blinked and opened his eyes. When had he closed them? He looked at Maitimo and smiled. They were no longer in the cabin where they made love for the first time.

Maitimo smiled back and smoothed his hair. It was short again, not long like before. It was a bit confusing.

“My love, I need to tell you something. Do you remember that we left Angband?”

“Angband?”

Findekáno tried to remember, but his head hurt. He looked at Maitimo, hoping his cousin didn’t mind.

Maitimo kissed his forehead. “There is no need to worry about it, Finno. We are safe now.”

“Yes, we are safe.”

“I have one brother, Finno. He is very dear to me. Do you want to meet him? He has been helping me to take care of you.”

A face, a voice singing, more brothers…

Findekáno gasped and grabbed the sides of his head.

“Finno? What is wrong? If you are not ready…”

Findekáno took a deep breath. “I am r-ready I want to meet your brother.”

“Come here, Makalaurë.”

Another Elf came close to his bed, and Findekáno looked at him. Again, he heard a voice singing in his head, but when Makalaurë smiled, the music grew softer, calming. 

“Hello, Findekáno. I am Makalaurë, or Maglor if you prefer.”

“Makalaurë… Maglor… I am Findekáno.”

“We are cousins,” Makalaurë said.

Findekáno smiled. “Yes, we are cousins because you are Maitimo’s brother. What happened to your hand?”

Makalaurë looked at his bandaged hand. “I burned it by accident.”

“Does it hurt still?”

“Barely.”

“You have been sleeping for days, Finno,” Maitimo said. “We have given you water and honey, but now you must eat.”

“Eat?”

Findekáno could not remember the last time he had eaten, and when he tried to remember something inside his mind hurt. 

“Yes,” Makalurë said. “I remember… Maitimo told me that you like blueberries, and mint tea.”

“I cannot remember, but if Maitimo says so it must be right. My head… My memory is… Everything is fuzzy.”

Maitimo cupped his chin with his hand. “You will remember in time, Finno. You were hurt, wounded, but now we are together and safe.”

Findekáno nodded slowly tried to relax. He suspected that his mind was not working well, but he hoped to would get better soon. 

“Can I ask you a question, Maitimo?”

“Sure.”

“My hair was long, and now it is short. I do not understand.”

The sudden pain in Maitimo’s eyes was too much to bear. “I am sorry, Maitimo. Forget I asked.”

“You have been dreaming while you slept,” Makalaurë said. “That is why your hair was long. We cut it because you were feverish, and it made you uncomfortable. It will grow again, Findekáno.”

“Oh, I see. There is no need to feel sorry for cutting my hair, Maitimo. I understand why you had to do it.”

Maitimo nodded and placed his forehead against Findekáno’s. “Forgive me, Findekáno.”

“For what?”

“For not keeping you safe.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter of Part One: Lost Together. I decided to make this a long story instead of a short one with sequels.

“But you always keep me safe, Maitimo. You came for me.”

Maitimo closed his eyes briefly and kissed Findekáno’s forehead. “I love you, Finno. I will always come for you.”

Findekáno smiled and brushed Maitimo’s cheeks with trembling fingers. “I know, I trust you with my life, Maitimo. I love you so much…” He sighed and closed his eyes.

“Finno?”

Findekáno blinked. “I am sorry. I feel so tired.”

“You can go back to sleep once you have eaten,” Makalaurë said. “I will be back soon. You will eat too, Maitimo.”

“We will all have something to eat. Káno, if you need me to hunt for food---”

Findekáno trembled, and though he said nothing Maitimo could feel his anguish. 

“There is no need to hunt for now, brother. We will see about finding more food later.”

Once Makalaurë left, Findekáno took one of Maitimo’s hands.

“I would never leave you alone, Finno. I would have left you with Káno. You can trust him.” 

Findekáno nodded. “Can I call him Káno?”

“Yes, you can call him Káno, my love.”

“Káno is sad.”

“He thought we were gone, Finno. Káno will be well. We are together now, and we will take care of each other.”

“You are sad too. Why are you sad?”

“Because I tried to keep you safe, and you are wounded.”

“It only hurts a little.”

Makalaurë came back in that moment and placed a dish with blueberries and bread in Fingon’s hands. He also set a tray with a pot of mint tea for everyone.

Findekáno smiled. “I remember that scent. Thank you, Káno.”

Makalaurë smiled and poured mint tea for them. Findekáno was eating the blueberries and looked more alert than a moment ago. Maitimo ate little but made sure that both his lover and his brother ate enough. Makalaurë looked tired, and sad. Findekáno was pale and thin. Maitimo needed to be strong for them both. 

“Drink it, Findekáno,” Makalaurë said, “so you can remember the taste too.”

Findekáno accepted the cup from Makalaurë and drank it slowly. His cheeks were not so pale anymore. Maitimo was relieved beyond measure. He had feared that Findekáno would die, but despite the abuse he had been subjected to in Angband, he was strong.

“When you feel better, we will look for a place to stay,” Makalaurë said. “We used to live in a cottage that now must be under the sea, but we could build a new one on the eastern flank of the Blue Mountains.”

Near Thargelion, the place where Caranthir had lived, now sunk under the sea. Maitimo nodded. Nothing remained of Himring either, maybe ruins under the sea. They had to build a new life and hide from those who would do them harm. Even if they deserved it, Findekáno did not. 

“Have some tea, Maitimo,” Findekáno said. “You need to eat too. You are sad again. I wish I could do something to convince you that I am well.”

Maitimo kissed one of Findekáno’s hands. “I will eat, my Finno.”

“Good,” Makalaurë said. “You are strong, but you cannot go on without food, brother.”

Maitimo managed to eat some fruit, but he would have to speak with Makalaurë and tell him that he no longer needed to eat every day. While he was a prisoner, a slave in Angband, he had gone long periods without food, and then Melkor had done something to him. He became stronger since then, but his need for food decreased. 

Fingon had fallen asleep again, with his eyes closed which still worried him. Makalaurë was eating quietly, his eyes lost somewhere else. This scared Maitimo. He needed his brother to be well. He needed to save Makalaurë too.

“Maitimo?”

“Yes?”

“I said that you should rest Findekáno on the cot. We need to talk, brother.”

Maitimo nodded and once he had made sure that Findekáno was comfortable, and deeply asleep, he turned to Makalaurë.

“Can we speak in Sindarin… Maedhros?”

Maitimo had never heard that name before Makalaurë… Maglor mentioned it. Nobody ever called him by that name, but when his brothers learned the tongue of these lands, they decided to create a name for him too. 

Findekáno didn’t understand Sindarin. Maitimo had learned while being one of Melkor’s captains.

“Yes, Maglor.”

“You are not eating enough. Tell me what is wrong, brother.”

“I do not need to eat every day. Melkor… Morgoth did something to me so I could serve him as captain. I could not die, and I was stronger. I could go on for days without food.”

Makalaurë looked concerned. “Brother…”

“There is no need to worry, Káno. I will not turn into an Orc. Morgoth made sure of that. He liked me… He liked my body.”

Makalaurë took his hand, and Maitimo managed not to pull away. He needed the touch, the love and acceptance his brother gave him. Even if there was still darkness inside him.

“Káno, if I ever… Promise me that you will take care of Findekáno.”

Makalaurë pulled him close. “Don’t even think of leaving us, Nelyo. You are back, Findekáno is back, and we will build a new life together. I need you too, brother.”

Maitimo ran a hand through Makalaurë’s hair. “I will never leave you, Káno. I just fear that this darkness inside me will come out one day. I was Morgoth’s creature, his slave but also his killer. Only Findekáno brought me back to myself.”

“And you stopped me from giving up,” Makalaurë whispered. “Everything will be all right. The Doom is void, and we are still here, and we will take care of Findekáno together.”

Maitimo nodded and kissed Makalaurë’s forehead. “You are right. Together, in peace, for as long as our time in Arda lasts.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Part Two: Family**

Maglor stood outside the house, waiting for their visitor to come. They were living near the southern bank of the Baranduin, in a place called Minhiriath by the local Men. Part of them had sailed with Elros to the island of Elenna, now called Númenor, and the kingdom of one of his adoptive sons. Elros had taken the name of Tar-Miyantur and lived a long life until he decided to let go and leave the circles of Arda. His son, Vardamir was reigning in his place. 

Fingon was much better, though his memories about his life in Tirion were still fuzzy. He remembered Maedhros, whom he called Maitimo like always. He remembered Maglor too, and Arakáno, but he could not remember Turgon, Aredhel or their father at all. 

Maedhros was much better, no longer expecting to turn into an Orc or something worse. Maglor himself had found a measure of peace. He no longer wished to die, and not only because Maedhros and Fingon needed him, but also because he had new purpose.

There was someone he needed to find.

The sound of horse’s hooves shook Maglor out of his musings, and a moment later Elrond showed up, followed by a small patrol with Lindon’s colors on their uniforms. A gesture from Elrond made them stop, and only Maglor’s adoptive son approached the house.

“Elrond…”

“Father, I have missed you.”

Elrond dismounted and embraced Maglor, reminding him of days long gone when he had held a young boy afraid of his nightmares. Maglor held him close for a moment before letting him go.

“I have missed you too, my son. How are you?”

“I am well.”

“Come, sit here with me.” Maglor led Elrond to a wooden bench that Fingon and Maedhros had carved together. 

Elrond sat with him, and for a moment he said nothing. Maglor knew that his adoptive son was trying to find the best way to speak about Fingon. The King had sent a message to Maedhros, asking him to send Fingon to Lindon. Maedhros had answered that Fingon was his mate and had no business in Gil-galad’s Court.

“Ereinion wants to see Fingon,” Elrond finally said, “but he is aware that Turgon’s brother is Maedhros’ mate. He just wants to make sure that---”

“I am not keeping Findekáno here against his will.”

Maedhros had come, and the cold fury in his eyes was enough to make Elrond think his next words. 

“I told Ereinion that I would speak with Fingon, and make sure that he was all right. You must understand, cousin. Fingon is close kin, and Ereinion feels responsible for his safety.”

“Findekáno is my mate, and he is staying with us. You call Maglor father. Trust him if you do not trust me.”

“I trust Maglor,” Elrond said quietly. “And I know that you would never hurt Fingon. You must understand, cousin. Ereinion had to leave his house at a young age, and your brothers betrayed Finrod.”

“We are aware of our misdeeds, Elrond,” Maglor said before Maedhros could answer, "but Maedhros was a prisoner until the War of Wrath, and he rescued Fingon from Angband.”

Elrond nodded. “Can I speak with him, at least? He is the closest kin I have, and I would never hurt him.”

“Findekáno doesn’t want to see anyone from Lindon. Your King’s letter sent him into a panic.”

“He does not remember Turgon,” Maglor added. “He only remembers Arakáno and us.”

Elrond seemed troubled. “Then there is more reason for me to see him. I am a healer, and I might be able to help him.”

Maglor looked at Maedhros, who nodded faintly, though he still looked ready to fight Elrond if he upset Fingon. 

“I will bring him, but if you upset him, I will escort you back to Lindon, cousin.”

Elrond nodded. “I understand.”

When Maedhros went into the house, Maglor turned to Elrond. “Just be careful with Fingon, my son. He is happy here, and if he thinks you will try to take him away, he will panic.”

“I have no wish to upset him, father. Trust me.”

“I trust you, Elrond. It is not my trust that you must earn. Maedhros also needs healing, but he will never accept your help. He barely speaks about his torture in Angband to me. Only Fingon’s presence and love keeps him sane.”


	10. Chapter 10

“I do not want to see him.”

Findekáno was sitting with Maitimo on their bed, and his cousin was holding him close. He felt safe, and he didn’t want to leave their bedroom. Maitimo had told him about a visitor from Lindon, a Half-elf named Elrond whom Maglor and Pityafinwë had raised. 

“I know, Finno, and I told him so, but he only wants to help.”

“To help? Is that king going to hurt you or Maglor because of me?”

Maitimo shook his head. “No, Gil-galad knows that your place is here with me and Maglor.”

“Then we do not need his help.”

Maitimo cupped his chin and kissed him softly. “Would you like to remember your past, my love? Your life in Tirion?”

“I remember my life in Tirion.”

“You remember me, and my brothers. You remember Arakáno, but you do not remember your other siblings or your parents.”

Findekáno trembled. “They are shadows. I fear what they might bring if they become real.”

Maitimo smoothed his hair. “Your other siblings loved you, so did your parents.”

“They did not accept my love for you. My father wanted me to marry and give him an heir. I remember that, but I cannot see his face, or hear his words. All I know is that he died.”

Maitimo sighed softly. “He left after Melkor broke the siege, and he did want you to marry, but he loved you, Finno.”

Findekáno looked down. “If this is important for you, I will do it. I will see that Elrond.”

“No, Finno, nothing is more important for me than your safety. Gil-galad will continue sending Elrond until you see him. The king is the son of Orodreth, one of our nephews. He is simply worried for you.”

So, this visit was a veiled threat, and Maedhros and Maglor might get hurt, or worse, unless he spoke to Elrond. 

“I will do it, but I will not let him enter my mind. I will see him, so he realizes that I am here because my home is with you and Maglor.”

“All right, but if you feel uncomfortable, I will send Elrond away.”

Findekáno nodded. He tied his hair back with a string and followed Maitimo out of the house. 

They found Maglor sitting with Elrond in one of the benches he had carved with Maitimo. They stood and waited for him and Maitimo to approach them. Maglor looked calm, but Findekáno knew better. The envoy, Elrond, was looking at him with kind eyes, but there was an urgency behind that kindness that he could not hide. 

“Greetings, my lord,” Elrond said with a small bow. “I am thankful that you agreed to see me.”

“Greetings, but I am no lord,” Findekáno said in Quenya.

“Forgive me, but you are the rightful heir to the throne of Nolofinwë.” Elrond had switched to Quenya. “I know you do not want such throne, but I must pay due respect.”

“Gil-galad is the king,” Findekáno said before Maitimo could react and send Elrond away. Maglor himself seemed surprised by Elrond’s words. So, tell me, why are you here?”

“Your cousin, Gil-galad, wanted me to assess your wellbeing, my lord. I have no wish to offend you.”

“I am well, and if I am the heir to Nolofinwë’s throne, then do as I say and never come here again. Tell Gil-galad that he can take the throne, but if he dares to hurt Maitimo or Makalaurë I will hold him accountable and take my place as king only to pronounce his punishment.”

Elrond seemed to be taken aback by his words. “Pardon me, my lord. I only wish to help.”

“You have helped in reminding me who I am, and to whom you owe obeyance. Now leave, Elrond, and tell my cousin to take care of the Noldor in exile. I will take care of my family.”

Findekáno was trembling but his voice was firm. He had no memories of many things, but he knew what had happened while he had been in Angband. 

“Do you wish me to leave a patrol to guard you, and your family, my lord? I consider Maglor my father and I have no ill wish to him or lord Maedhros, but there are those who would attack them.” 

“We can defend ourselves,” Maedhros said. He placed an arm around Findekáno’s shoulders. “I think it is time that you leave, Elrond.”

“As Maitimo says, we can defend ourselves.” Findekáno was glad for his cousin’s physical closeness. This conversation was starting to drain his strength, and he feared that such patrol would take him to Lindon at the first opportunity, even if it meant killing Maitimo and Maglor.

Elrond bowed his head. “As you wish, my lord.”

Maglor looked at Findekáno and Maitimo, and then led Elrond away. Once he was gone, Findekáno entered the house as fast as he could, and only then did he allow his knees to give way. 

Maitimo carried him to a settee. “Finno…”

“I am the king! I do not want to be the king!”

“I know, and I never believed that Elrond would use that card. Maglor himself was surprised.”

“The first letter was addressed to me as lord Findekáno…”

“That was the one he sent to you, my love. The one he sent Maglor said that you were the king, and that we were keeping you here against your will.”

Findekáno closed his eyes and let himself fall in Maitimo’s embrace. “How could they think that of you? Maglor raised that young Peredhel, and you rescued me from Angband?”

“You know why Maglor and Pityafinwë raised Elrond and Elros.”

“Yes, I know what your brothers did, and all of them but Maglor are dead and in the Halls. Maitimo, even if they were alive, I would forbid anyone to kill them.”

“My sweet Finno, you know that they killed many Elves, but they are paying for their crimes. Maglor and I have not paid for them.”

“You were forced to kill, and Maglor was under the Oath. I know not one of us is innocent. I fought aside you in Alqualondë, you told me that.”

“You thought that the Teleri were attacking us.”

“Then let them kill me, but you and Maglor gave me a home and a family. I will not allow anyone to hurt you.”

Maitimo kissed Findekáno’s forehead. “Nothing will happen now, love. You were the king when you spoke to Elrond. Gil-galad will have to understand. Do you want to rest? You look exhausted.”

“Yes, please, but hold me in your arms.”


	11. Chapter 11

Maitimo carried Findekáno to their bed and settled there with him. “Sleep, Finno,” he whispered. “Maglor will make sure that Elrond never comes again.”

Or that Findekáno never had to see him again, at least. After all, Elrond was the closest that Maglor had to a son. Maitimo was angry, though. Why did they insist on taking Findekáno away from the only family he knew? After Nolofinwë died, Turukáno had become the High King of the Noldor, and after his death, the crown had gone to Orodreth’s son, Rodnor. There was no going back, not if Findekáno had no interest in taking the throne.

“I am sorry for this, Maitimo. You and Maglor would be free if I had died in Angband.”

Maitimo barely controlled the surge of anger at Findekáno’s words. “We would be dead if you had died in Angband, Findekáno.”

Findekáno grabbed one of Maedhros’ hands. “You are angry.”

Maitimo sighed. “Yes, but not at you, Finno.” He kissed Findekáno’s hand. “I am angry at myself, for not protecting you. If I had taken a boat and returned for you before my father gave the order to burn the ships, nothing of this might have happened.”

“You couldn’t have stopped him, and you stood aside. Maglor told me that before we came to live here.”

“You tried to rescue me without knowing that?”

“I love you.”

If things were so simple, Maitimo mused as he kissed Fingon’s lips. Their love had survived everything, but they both had been hurt in so many ways to reach this moment when they were free to be together.

“Speak to me, Maitimo.”

“I love you too, I never stopped loving you, Findekáno. I hoped that you returned to Tirion and the Valar pardoned you and your father for following us. Yet you came and tried to save me from my fate after seeing the ships burning.”

“I feel pain whenever I see flames. Sometimes I even feel fear and despair, but I also see you in that fire, waiting for me. I would never have stayed behind. I know that much.”

And that is why you suffered so much, and why I must protect you from those who would make you a puppet king. 

“Lie down with me, Maitimo. Hold me.”

Maitimo brushed a stray brown lock off Findekáno’s face and held him in his arms. Even if he was physically stronger now, Findekáno’s time in Angband had left deep wounds in his spirit. Maitimo loved him even more now, for his strength and courage. Findekáno had risked his life to try to rescue him, and for that had been caught in the same darkness that had snared Maitimo away. 

“Sleep, you look exhausted. I will not leave your side.”

Findekáno nodded and a moment later his eyes unfocussed and he fell into a deep sleep. Maitimo not only held him but reached for his mind and stayed vigilant of his mate’s dreams. Sometimes Findekáno had terrible nightmares. 

“How could you not rescue him, Makalaurë?” Findekáno whispered after a moment. “How could you all leave him to die at Morgoth’s hands?”

Maitimo kissed Findekáno’s forehead and sang softly to him. “I am here, Finno. You saved me.”

Findekáno quieted down, and Maitimo ran his fingers through his hair. Findekáno had saved him from the darkness, the anger that was always threatening to come back. He had shown Maitimo compassion and love when he no longer expected that from anyone. 

“You rescued me, my love. I would be dead if you had not tried to bring me back to our family.”


	12. Chapter 12

Maglor watched Maedhros and Findekáno leave, knowing well that this encounter would have consequences on his cousin’s health. It had surprised him to see Findekáno react like his old self, determined to protect his family no matter what he had to do. Maglor had never seen Findekáno react like the king he really was after having spent all the First Age in Angband. 

He would have nightmares after this.

Maglor sighed and turned to Elrond, who was standing at his side, his expression grim. 

“Why would you do such a thing, Elrond?”

“I had to get a reaction from him, Father, something that meant that Findekáno still has a mind of his own, and that he is not being manipulated by your brother.”

Only Maglor’s love for Elrond stopped him from lashing out at him. Had Elrond changed so much that he would lie to him? Was this just the prelude of an attack from Gil-galad’s troops?

“Father---”

“Do not call me that now.”

Elrond sighed. “If you would let me explain.”

“What is there to explain? That you would not believe me when I said that Findekáno loves Maedhros and wants to stay with us? That you would lie to us to see him and get a reaction? You are a healer, Elrond. You could have assessed his state of mind without sending him into a panic.”

“I do not understand. Findekáno reacted like a prince of the Noldor, like a true King.”

“Because that is what Findekáno is, a prince of the Noldor, and he was prepared to be king, as Maedhros and our younger cousins were. That was Findekáno before Angband, but now his mind is fragile. You have caused more damage than you know.”

“I did not mean to harm him, Father. I needed to do this to prevent Gil-galad from coming for him. Findekáno is our rightful king, and Maedhros has been Morgoth’s assassin for centuries.”

“And I forced your mother to jump off a cliff. None of us can be trusted.”

Elrond’s expression changed. He had never forgotten his mother for choosing the Silmaril over Elros and him, or their father from being away when the attack on Sirion happened.

_When I attacked the Havens of Sirion with Ambarussa, when Telvo died._

“My mother made her choice, and yes, you and Amrod destroyed our home. I know that, yet you are still my father and I love you. My real father was seldom at home. I barely knew him. And I know that their destiny was to bring the Valar back to Endorë.”

“Elrond, I am sorry for bringing that back. I know that you love me despite all I did. I love you as if you were my son, and Pityo loved you and Elros too.”

“I know. Father, I wish you understood my reasons for what I did. I have to tell Gil-galad what I saw, and what Findekáno told me, but sooner or later he will come, if only to see Findekáno and speak with him.”

“Then we must leave.”

“As long as Findekáno is not healed, he will always be in danger of being taken away against his will. Gil-galad will never trust you or Maedhros.”

“I know, and he has your trust, which I do not have anymore.”

“I am loyal to him, but I love you. Father, you have to leave, take Findekáno away until he is healed.”

“Can I trust you not to tell Gil-galad that we are leaving?”

“I cannot lie to him, but I will not tell him that Findekáno is not fully healed, and that you are planning to leave the area. Part of the patrol I brought with me will stay close, so you will have to be careful not to be seen. I will take them far from here, but they will return to make sure that Findekáno is safe.”

“Thank you, Elrond.”

Elrond looked at him for a moment before he turned around and left. Maglor did not move until they were out of sight. His mind was already going around all they needed to do to leave. They had another hiding place south from here, but it was too close to the coast and Gil-galad had ships. They had no choice but to go West.

“When are we leaving?” Maedhros asked when he entered the house. Findekáno was deeply asleep. 

“As soon as we are ready. Did you hear?”

“I know a traitor when I see one.”

“Maitimo…”

“I know you love him, and he might have good intentions, but has already betrayed us. I will not let them take Findekáno against his will.”

Maglor nodded and proceeded to help his brother with the preparations for their escape. Maedhros no longer trusted anyone but Maglor and Findekáno. He had been on guard for too long, and he could see the signs of danger before anyone. They would leave and take Findekáno away from Lindon. Maglor might have lost Elrond, but he was not going to lose his brother and cousin.


	13. Chapter 13

Findekáno followed Maedhros and Maglor through lands new to them all. They had woken him at dawn a few days ago, and they were traveling eastward in search of a place where Gil-galad could not find them. They were heading to Eregion, a region south from the Hithaeglir, as those mountains were called in the Sindarin language. Findekáno was learning it, but he still spoke in Quenya with Maitimo and Makalaurë. He was used to call his younger cousin Maglor, but Nelyafinwë would always be Maitimo for him. 

He was trying to get used to be called Fingon, but only for safety reasons as nobody else would necessarily know him for that name. He had been captured when he was Findekáno Nolofinwion and had spent all the war in Angband. He felt safe with Maitimo and Maglor, but the rest of his kin who wanted him back didn’t even know him. 

They had met Finwë’s sister, Alcanë, and her partner, Russo, who was kin of Mahtan. They were part of the few Tatyar who had stayed in Endorë when Finwë led their people to Aman. Alcanë and Russo had helped them and hid them until the roads were clear again. After they left their previous home, Gil-galad had sent guards after them. Findekáno only hoped that nobody from Lindon found them again. 

“There are no Noldor in Eregion,” Alcanë had said. “At least for now, but I believe that you will have to go beyond the Hithaeglir if you want to be safe. And do not concern yourselves about us. Ereinion knows to respect our lands, and he will not dare to take one of my people to question them.”

“Elrond is a good Half-elf,” Russo had said, “but he is part of Ereinion’s family and will help him to find you.”

Findekáno wished he had died in Angband, so nobody pursued Maitimo and Maglor. They had enough with the Oath and the kinslayings, and what Maitimo had been forced by Melkor. 

“Findekáno, what is it?” Maitimo asked. 

“I was thinking…”

“You are crying, Finno.”

Findekáno brushed his tears off. “I did not notice. I am well.”

Maitimo took his hand and kissed it. “I know you, Finno. Whatever guilt you are feeling, don’t. You are my mate, my beloved, and I would never let anyone take you from me. And we cannot leave Maglor alone.”

Maglor was riding ahead, looking for the best place to cross the Gwathló. Their encounter with Elrond had upset him, though he tried to hide it from us. Findekáno had heard Maglor speak with Maitimo while they believed him asleep. Maglor felt betrayed by his adoptive son, and it had hurt him deeply. 

“I know. I am worried for him too. Maitimo, I know you are doing this to protect me, but please let me do whatever is in my hands to protect you and Maglor as well.”

Maitimo looked at him for a moment. “All we want is to shield you from things that might disturb you, Finno, but I promise that we will not keep things from you.”

Unless necessary, Findekáno knew, but it was an improvement. He knew how fragile his own mental state was, but Maitimo had suffered too, and so had Maglor. He wanted to do his part to protect their family.

They had met a few Elves on the way, but no one tried to stop them. Alcanë had given them new cloaks with her people’s colors. Maitimo and Maglor were Russo’s kin, and Findekáno was Alcanë’s. They had even shared a meal with a group of Elves who knew of the Tatyar and respected them. If they knew who Maglor was, they had said nothing. Maitimo, they had never met, and the only records of red-haired Fëanorians was that of Ambarussa. 

“We can cross here,” Maglor said. They joined him and crossed the river. They were greeted by a tall, dark-haired Elf. Maglor gasped softly, and before Findekáno could ask anything another Elf, identical to the first one came out of the water. Findekáno almost reached for his sword, but Maitimo’s hand stopped him.

“Omar,” Maglor whispered.

“Makalaurë.” The voice was almost musical, and the Elf’s expression was kind. The other, his twin, looked at them kindly.

“Lord Salmar,” Maitimo said. “Findekáno has lost his memories, he meant no harm.”

“I know, Nelyafinwë.”

Maglor was speaking with the Elf called Omar, so Findekáno looked at Salmar. 

“Who are you?”

“We are Maiar from Ulmo,” Salmar said. “Our lord’s power runs through the streams of Endorë. We were sent here to offer protection to you.”

“Protection?”

Maglor had come with Omar. “Lord Ulmo knows that we are escaping from Ereinion, and he knows that we have a role to play in events that might come only if we stay away from Lindon. It is for the greater good.”

Omar placed a hand on Maglor’s shoulder. “I know you believe that you cannot atone for what you did, Makalaurë, and that Nelyafinwë feels the same, but you are children of Eru, and he understands and believes in you. As for Findekáno, he is well protected with you two, and you will meet with part of your family again---”

“Our family wants to separate us!”

“Finno, he doesn’t mean Ereinion or Elrond.”

“You are right. Your path will not be an easy one, but you can stay here, and Ereinion will not find you for now.”

Findekáno moved closer to Maitimo. He wished he could trust these Maiar, he wished he could remember them, but Maitimo and Maglor were calm. Findekáno trusted them.

“I have something for you, Findekáno,” Salmar said. It was a harp. Findekáno took it and the image of him trying to rescue Maitimo came to his mind. He almost dropped it but Salmar’s next words sent a soothing feeling through his mind. “You did rescue him, Findekáno.”

Maglor was holding a harp too, bigger than Findekáno’s, and Omar was speaking to him quietly. Salmar gave Maitimo scrolls and ink, and a small metal horse. Findekáno remembered that his lover used to make them. Maitimo loved books and horses. 

“Thank you, Lord Salmar,” Maitimo said.

“You will find him, Makalaurë,” Omar was saying. “He is alive.”

Findekáno looked at Maitimo. “Who is alive?”

“Daeron of Doriath. Maglor met him at the Mered Aderthad, a meeting your father held with our cousins and my brothers. Maglor came with Tyelkormo. King Thingol sent two representatives. One of them was Daeron, a singer and loremaster.”

“We must leave now,” Salmar said. “You will find a place to build your house, and the Elves here will not bother you. They have accepted you as kin of Alcanë and Russo. You will have to gain their trust, though.”

“We will,” Maglor said. “All we want is peace and to atone for our wrongdoings.”

“And to keep Findekáno safe,” Maitimo added.

“Thank you for coming here, my lords,” Findekáno said. Omar and Salmar smiled and returned to the water, and a moment later, Findekáno and the others heard a soft music coming from the Gwathló.


	14. Chapter 14

Maitimo was at the stables, brushing Moranor’s black coat, and thinking of the days ahead. They had been living in Eregion, unmolested, for over three hundred years. If Gil-galad or Elrond knew their location, they had not dared to disturb them. He was called Maedhros now, having adopted that name to better blend into the customs and world of the other Elves in the area. Findekáno was called Fingon now, but when they were alone, they still used their Quenya names.

Maedhros worked as a smith and a builder. He could have given classes on diplomacy, and Quenya in the town halls, but keeping a low profile was necessary and it suited him. Maglor taught music, but only performed when there was a special feast. Fingon was happy to help Maedhros with his work at the builders’ guild, and together they also trained horses, something they had done ages ago in Finwë’s stables in Tirion. 

They also had a small orchard, which Maedhros hoped that they would turn into a vineyard. They lived on the outskirts of the town and had friendly neighbors. There was no governor, just an assembly who decided the most important things to be done. That was going to change soon, though.

Artanis was coming with her Sindar husband, Celeborn and their daughter, Celebrían. The pair had sent the Elders a letter, asking for a place among them. Though she was a Noldorin Princess, Celeborn was kin of Thingol and so the Elders saw him as a natural leader. There were a few Tatyar living in Eregion too, but they could return to their kin if necessary. 

Maedhros had received a letter from Artanis too. How had she known that they were in Eregion? Maedhros suspected that Ulmo’s protection was only from Gil-galad and Elrond. Artanis was powerful, Maglor had said, and she had learned directly from Queen Melian. She had no reason to try to take Fingon away, but her husband had every reason to distrust Maedhros and Maglor. 

The Elves in Eregion had progressed, and now their small town was a city called Ost-in-Edhil. The Elders had accepted Artanis and Celeborn as their leaders, but only if they respected their deal with the Tatyar about Maedhros, Maglor and Fingon. 

Artanis’ letter to him had been cold but respectful. Maedhros’ answer had been the same, though he had made it clear that protecting Fingon was his and Maglor’s prerogative. Fingon remembered the rest of their family now, but he was not looking forward to Artanis’ coming to the city. 

_Family always tries to separate us, Maitimo._ Fingon had said.

Maedhros agreed, but he had to think carefully and not act on impulse. He had his own small family to protect now. 

“Here you are.”

“Maglor. What is it?”

“I need to leave Eregion to look for Daeron. Ómar has found him at last, and he is out of his mind.”

Maedhros sighed. Maglor had been looking for Daeron of Doriath for long, but the minstrel had moved too far into the Eastern lands, where not even Ómar could find him. 

“Can you at least wait for Artanis and her family to arrive here? We could ask for their help.”

“It is too risky, brother. Celeborn knows what I did, and he might try to make me accountable for my crimes, no matter what Artanis’ letter says. I would ask you and Fingon to come with me, but he will be protected here, and I doubt that Celeborn will dare to do anything against you.”

“But he might.”

Maglor stayed silent. 

“I will not let you leave the city alone. If you must go, we will go with you, brother.”

“Would you risk Fingon for me?”

Maedhros looked into Maglor’s eyes. “You are my brother, and he is my mate. You two are the only family I have. And you know that Fingon would never want you to go alone. Outside Ost-in-Edhil you will no longer have the Tatyar’s protection.”

“And Gil-galad’s men could find us and take Fingon away. It is too dangerous, Maedhros. I would stay and accept the consequences of my acts but Daeron is out there alone, and he lost his mind when Lúthien left with Beren. I have to find him.”

“Where is Fingon?”

“Practicing with his lyre.”

“Let us go and speak with him.”

“Maedhros…”

“We are leaving together, Maglor. We are a family, and if you are in danger, we will protect you.”

Maglor sighed and followed him inside the house. Fingon was singing softly, accompanying his song with his lyre. Maedhros remembered when he heard his beloved singing so long ago when he was still hanging from Thangorodrim. 

Fingon had sensed his disquiet. He stopped playing and came out of their rooms. “What is it?”

“I am well, beloved. We need to speak about something important. Sit down, please.”

“Is anyone threatening you?” Fingon asked them both.

“No,” Maedhros said, “but Maglor cannot stay in Eregion now that Artanis and Celeborn are coming.”

“Then we have to leave,” Fingon said.

“You are not going to ask why?” Maglor said.

“No. I fully understand why the coming of Celeborn would place you in danger, Maglor. Maitimo would be in danger too.”

Maedhros took Fingon’s hand and squeezed it lightly. “We will have to leave our house, but as long as we are together, we will find a new home.”

Maglor nodded, visibly relieved. “There is another reason, Fingon. Daeron has been lost for centuries, but now Ómar has found him. I need to go for him, or Ómar will take him to Aman. Daeron has lost his mind.”

“Oh, Maglor…” Fingon came closer and took Maglor’s hands. 

“I know it is selfish of me to try to keep Daeron here. He could be healed in Aman, and live a calm life---”

“But he could die too,” Fingon said. “Like Míriel. We will leave as soon as we are ready. We can take a few things with us, the minimum necessary.”

“Thank you,” Maglor said.

Maedhros came to sit beside Maglor and embraced him. “We are a family, brother, and we stay together.”


End file.
